Reduce your Worry

Worried? Try this simple technique to reduce your worries

by in Psychology 0

Do you find yourself caught up in your worries?  When my stress levels increase, I find that it’s easy to become distracted from the present and find myself caught up thinking about things outside of my control.

Whilst it’s normal for everyone to have worries, if you’re finding anxiety is getting the better of you, or you can’t seem to stop thinking about everything that’s going wrong, it might be time to schedule in some worry time!!  “What!?  Why you you want to worry even more!?” you ask.

Worry time is one of my favourite CBT techniques to help reduce ruminative worries.  It’s worked well when I’ve taught it to clients, and I also found that it worked really well for me personally (particularly when going through stressful events or major life changes).

The reason worry time seems to work so well, is that by giving your worries the time of day they’re asking for, they become less scary, less over whelming and less daunting.. and they stop capturing your attention throughout the day, because you’ve made room for them.

So here’s how you do it!

  1.  Schedule in a time each day that you will devote purely to worrying!!  Yes, you heard me!!  It might seem crazy and paradoxical, but the point is that by allowing your worries some time of day, you may find that they aren’t so distressing any more….or that you even start to tire of thinking about them!! You might allocate 5 to 10 minutes per day – I strongly suggest doing this in the morning, not at night or before bed. During your worry time, set a timer or alarm to signal the end of your worry time.
  2. During your worry time,  think about all the worries that have been causing you stress.  Give them time of day – if you run out of worries, repeat the ones you’ve already covered!  You can say them silently in your mind, or you may find it easier to say them out aloud.
  3. The first few days you try worry time, you may find this quite upsetting, but the more you practice, the easier it will become, and the less distressing the thoughts will feel.  If you feel worked up after worry time, try taking some deep breaths, or having a hot shower to help you refocus.
  4. The more you do this technique, you may even find that you find it difficult to fill your 5 – 10 minutes time slot, which means it’s beginning to work – you;re giving your thoughts the time of day they’ve been asking for, and they’re becoming not so scary and overwhelming anymore!!
  5. Over the course of the day, if you find your worries popping into your mind, tell yourself that you will address these during your next worry time – you can even write yourself a reminder note if this helps. You may find that over the course of the day, you’re not as distracted by your worries, and better able to switch off from them.  This will in turn help you to feel more in control of your thoughts and feelings.

If you like using apps, you can also download the Reach Out WorryTime App, which can help you structure your Worry Time and allow you to enter your worries as they pop up.

Would you try this technique?  If you’re finding your worries are stopping you from doing the things you care about, or if you are feeling distressed, speak to your GP, or contact Lifeline, on 13 11 14.

Positive Thinking: Can Self Talk and Positive Affirmations Increase your Performance?

by in Psychology 0

Our minds are constantly chattering away with an internal dialogue, or “self talk.”  Our self talk can be helpful, and can help to increase our confidence, mood or performance, or at times, self talk can be negative, which can lead to decreased confidence, performance difficulties and low mood.

Do you use positive thinking to help you get through tough situations, like public speaking, performances or even social situations?  Does it work for you?  Using positive affirmations or “positive self talk” is often praised as a key strategy to increase performance, and even to change our moods…but is self talk actually effective? Could simply replacing a negative thought with a positive one actually change how we feel and help us to perform better?

Some people like to use positive affirmations to increase their confidence (eg, “I’m great at X, I’m amazing!!” etc), but it’s important to use such affirmations with caution.  If you don’t actually believe the content of a positive affirmation to be true, then it could backfire.  A study by Wood, Perunovic & Lee (2003) evaluated the effectiveness of positive self statements.  The results concluded that for people with low self esteem, positive self statements can be ineffective and can cause the person’s feelings about themselves and their mood to feel worse!!  For people with high self esteem, positive self statements were shown to lead to a small increase in positive feelings and mood.  The authors of the study outline that  “Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, but backfire for the very people who ‘‘need’’ them the most.”

Self talk is a popular technique in the field of sports psychology, but there is surprisingly little evidence to support its benefit… however, Moran (2004) outlines that self talk may be useful in performances, as it can direct our attention to focus on key cues and demands related to a performance.

So with all this confusion, how can you best use self talk to support your performance in any given situation?  Try the following tips:

  •  Keep self talk positively phrased, emphasising what you should do, instead of what you should avoid.  For example, “I can choose healthy food options”, rather than “don’t eat junk food!”, or “relax my shoulders and breath deeply” rather than “don’t make any mistakes!.”
  • Don’t use positive affirmations you don’t believe to be true – instead, find a statement that focuses your attention on something you can control or focus on.
  • Keep positive statements focused on things within your control, for example “Take a deep breath to relax,” “soft grip,” “focus on your posture,” “if I make a mistake, take a breath and start again” etc.
  • Keep it short and simple, and as vivid as possible, to focus your attention on cues relevant to the task.  Try a trigger word related to performance cues like “relax”, “energise!” “soft tone” etc.
  • Use past successes to boost your confidence – rather than a general positive affirmation “I rock at public speaking!,” you could focus your self talk on a past successful performance “I felt confident when I gave a speech at last month’s team meeting and received great feedback!”

Do you ever use self talk to help you to focus at work, during sports, or when giving performances?  Would you try this?

negative self talk

On being your own worst critic

by in Psychology 0

Do you ever feel like you can be your own worst critic?  When someone we love has a setback or a failure we often have all the empathy and care in the world, but when it comes to our own mistakes, it can be surprisingly easy to be hard on ourselves.

self criticismWhy is this?  Why is it ok for others to make mistakes, but not ourselves?  If you feel that you’re your own toughest judge, it may be because of your cognitive schemas (“your what!?”).  Schemas are like a roadmap that help us understand and make sense of the world, and include our underlying beliefs and assumptions.  Those schemas, or road maps, can shape which road we take (our behaviours) and effect how we think about the road we’re on (our thoughts).  We may have schemas related to perfectionism, and unrelenting standards, which can then lead to feelings of pressure, and thoughts around nothing being good enough.  These thoughts and feelings can then affect our behaviour, (for example, working longer hours or avoiding relaxing).

So how can you become your own personal cheerleader and help your inner critic to pipe down!?  Here are a few simple strategies:

1)  Focus on goal mastery, not goal outcomes.  If you’re afraid of failing, why not try and shift your focus to thinking about goals based on what you can learn, or a skill you can build rather than having a focus on the black or white achievement of your goal.  The learning process can become something you can measure and achieve, and will allow you to build your confidence in the small wins.  For example, I might have a goal of improving my leadership skills, rather than obtaining a promotion.  This takes the pressure of “winning or losing” and shifts my perspective to what I can learn, rather than what I can get as an outcome.

2)  Reflect on things you’re grateful for – there is a wealth of evidence that shows that practice of gratitude can lead to increased wellbeing.  Create a gratitude diary, and write down three things you’re grateful for at the end of each day.  This is a great tool to help shift your perspective to the positives in your life.

3)  Ask yourself the question:  “If my best friend X, was in my situation, what would I tell them?”  We often apply one set of standards to ourselves, and one to the others in our lives.  Try thinking about the advice or support you would give someone you care about who was in a similar situation to you – what would you tell them?  How would you care for them?  Can you then apply that same level of care and support to yourself?

4)  Reflect on your strengths.  What are your best qualities and attributes?  When your inner critic pipes up, instead of buying into your own negative thoughts, why don’t you think about how you could apply your strengths to the situation – or if something didn’t go the way you wanted it to, can you think about a time you utilised your strengths really well?

negative self talkDress – Minkpink

Would you try some of these tips?  What strategies work for you feel like your inner critic is holding you back?