Every year I get older I seem to realise that life throws more and more responsibilities at me, and frankly, I find it quite overwhelming at times!!
I’m lucky enough to have a fantastic job, where I can help people and work as part of a great team…but nonetheless, balancing a career, with studying a masters degree, raising a one year old son, maintaining relationships, blogging, attempting to look after my health, fitness and wellbeing and having some semblance of social life all comes at a price. That price means that I often feel that I have so many competing demands that I just don’t know where to start!! This can be exhausting, because instead of just enjoying what I’m doing, my mind is constantly ticking away about all the numerous other things I have to do.
No matter who you are and what you do, you’re probably balancing multiple roles and multiple demands. Here are a few strategies you can try to help you to feel more balanced.
- Acceptance. Sometimes simply accepting that we can’t do it all is a good start. Even though I know that no one has a perfect life, everywhere in the media we are bombarded with images of people who have all their shit together – perfect house, great social life, great job etc etc… but no one can do everything at once, and sometimes certain priorities have to take preference over others. Sometimes when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I try and think about my core values…what’s most important to me? Having a day to just hang out with my husband and son means so much to me and makes me feel happy…. yes, there is plenty of house work I could be doing, and I’m sure I could spend more time studying, but is that something I’ll look back on and be thankful for?
- Learn to engage in the present. It’s really hard to focus on the task at hand when you’re sending an email, whilst watching some TV and keeping an eye on dinner on the stove (oh, and having a half-assed conversation with a loved one while you’re at it!). Try and practice mindfully savouring the task at hand, rather than cruising through it on autopilot.. for more information on Mindfulness, click here! Set yourself small goals, like enjoying dinner without looking at your phone or laptop.
- Notice when you experience flow….and do more of that!! Flow happens when we become so engaged in what we’re doing, that we lose a sense of time, and become so caught up that we don’t even think about all the things we should be doing. Flow leads to greater wellbeing and reduced stress… they key is allowing yourself the time to do those activities that help you experience flow… For me, I experience flow when playing the guitar, yoga or cycling, or even writing or reading a good book…. the biggest battle for me is making the time for those activities!
- Outsource! In your quest for the perfectly balanced life, could it be that by wanting everything to be perfect, you might in fact be holding on to some unnecessary activities that you could actually hold less lightly, or even outsource? For example, is there a work task you could delegate so you can leave on time today? Could you get a cleaner once a fortnight, or some help with a task that’s painstaking for you, like yardwork, doing your taxes, or a myriad of other painful life admin tasks?
- Set boundaries and say NO more. At the end of the day, there are only 24 hours in that day!! Is right now the best time to commit to that volunteer project you’ve been thinking about, or to fill your weekend schedule when you know you may have trouble meeting all those commitments? Be easy on yourself, and allow yourself time to meet your existing commitments before taking on too many more.
- Look after yourself!! When life gets crazy, self care is more important than ever….taking time out for exercise works wonders for our mental and physical health…you might feel too overwhelmed for a break, but after a 1 hour gym class or even a 20 minute walk, you’re sure to feel more energised and ready to take on even more challenges… remember, that positive emotions broaden our thought-action repertoire, and may help you to solve problems more effectively and be more creative!! Schedule time for your wellbeing. Just like you schedule work activities and appointments, it’s important to schedule time out for important things like exercise, social and family activities and even some downtime!
Most importantly, just remember that at the end of the day, no one can do it all. Be good to yourself and accept that there is only so much you can take on, and that sometimes things will come up that are completely out of your control.
What strategies do you utilise to stay balanced? Would you try these?
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