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Did you spend time making new years resolutions? This year I decided that before setting more goals that I’d take some time to reflect on 2015. It’s been a massive year…Dash is now 15 months old, I’ve taken on a new job, got through more of my Masters degree, done some more travel and spent time expanding Pop Therapy…but what is it that I’ve learned from these things? Here are a few of my rants below!!

1) I can never be in control of everything….but that’s ok. The house will never stay perfectly clean, I will never have everything on my “to do” list done, no matter how many times I go to Coles, I’m probably still out of milk, and/or paper towels, I wanted to go to the gym but I caught a cold, then Dash caught a cold, then Dash cried, then I cried, and the list goes on…but that’s ok. I spend a good deal of my life agonising over the small things, when really, life is pretty good.

2) Mindfulness is a powerful tool to unhook from worries and anxiety provoking thoughts…it’s easy to learn, practice and integrate into your daily life….finding an activity that helps you to experience flow is a great way to become more connected with the present and engage in mindful awareness.

3) Being a parent is !@#$ing hard, but seeing Dash’s happy little face and hearing his sweet little voice is enough to melt my heart (even if he did just mash bolognese sauce into my hair and whizz all over the floor!!). Nonetheless, it takes time to adjust to motherhood, and anyone who tells you it’s a breeze, would be lying!!

4) Connections with others matter more than everything else. I’m lucky to have some amazing friends and a truly wonderful husband in my life….without people we care about to share our experiences with, nothing is as special.

5) If you’re attempting DIY fake tan application (in my case, if you’re looking to go from “translucent”, to “fair”)…use a tanning glove!! Who knew these things even existed!? They’re about $5, and would have saved me many a streak and uneven application….a tan glove!!? who knew!?

6) Having turned 30 this year, there’s no point in trying to be someone I’m not….be true to yourself, and life is a hell of a lot easier.

7) I bought this sparkling water machine for my husband Lachy, and who knew how wonderful sparkling water on tap could be!?

8) Upon becoming a parent, my hobbies and interests went from: guitar, yoga, travel…to: sleep, being able to eat an entire meal without interruption, grocery shopping without a baby etc. The point of this is that I’m realising how important it is to do the things you care about, even though life is busy. Doing things you’re passionate about is important for wellbeing, and for our sense of self.

9) I’m all for healthy eating, but these cookies are the bomb

What did you learn in 2015? Do any of these resonate with you? The cookies!?

It’s the new year which means new year’s resolutions. How many years have you found yourself setting resolution after resolution to lose weight, make more money, give up junk food etc, only to find that it’s February and you haven’t been to the gym in weeks, and have just eaten a chocolate brownie!!

Why is it that new year’s resolutions don’t work? Simply put, they are often overly generalised or vague, and don’t have the specificity and planning which is needed to help us succeed.

My advice – set goals (and make them good ones!!).

Here are some simple principles to put in to play which have been demonstrated to help people achieve their goals.

1) Goals must be specific!! Want to lose weight? How much do you want to lose? In what time frame do you want to achieve it? How will you measure it?
Goals that are both specific and difficult lead to the highest performance (Locke, 1996). Making a goal specific helps us direct our action clearly and makes us more likely to achieve a difficult goal.

2) We need to be committed to our goals, particularly when they are difficult. Our commitment to goals comes through our belief that the goal is important (Locke, 1996). When setting your goals, reflect on how important you feel it is that you achieve it. Did you set the goal yourself, or are you trying to please someone else?

3) Self efficacy and our feeling of competence to achieve a goal fosters goal achievement. Do you feel that you have the skills or abilities to achieve your goal? If not, what will help you to feel more confident? Do you need a mentor, or perhaps additional resources like materials or information. The more empowered you feel, the more likely you are to achieve your goal!

4) Set implementation intentions. Implementation intentions are the small situational cues we set in line with our goals, which prompt us to take action. For example, your goal is to spend one hour each day studying. Your implementation intentions may include the exact time you plan on studying (6pm each night), where you will do it (the desk in your room, with the TV off), the materials you need to do it (notepad, textbook, highlighters). Setting implementation intentions has been shown to increase goal attainment on difficult tasks (Gollwitzer, 1999).

5) Write it down and share it with others!! You’re much more likely to succeed if you put your goal in writing, and enlist the support of others by sharing it with them!!

I hope this has helped with a touch of motivation to start 2015!! What are you goals for the new year?

References

Gollwitzer, P.M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Simple effects of simple plans. American Psychologist, 54(7), 493-503

Locke, E. (1996). Motivation through conscious goal setting. Applied and Preventative Psychology, 5(2), 117-124

A few small things i’ve learned in 2015

Set Goals, not Resolutions