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My Brand New YouTube Channel Now Live!!

I’m so excited to announce the launch of Pop Therapy TV, my brand new YouTube Channel!! We went live last night, with a brand new video, all about gratitude!!

The concept of Gratitude is a huge buzz word at the moment….everywhere I go, there are gratitude diaries, apps and people praising the benefits of gratitude….but is there any research to support it can enhance our wellbeing, and in what ways does being grateful do this? This VLOG covers some simple techniques you can try to start your gratitude practice and also explores the dark side of gratitude.

If you would like to watch the VLOG or to subscribe, please head over to:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiBMLWPkJVxy8q_M-wVMBlQ/

I’ll be sharing some brand new blog articles with you in the coming weeks!!

Thanks for reading and being a loyal follower of Pop Therapy!!

xox

Jem

Gratitude: Increase your wellbeing by practicing gratitude

Do you practice gratitude? Do you take the time to stop and think about all the things you are thankful for each day? Whilst I continually express gratitude to my skim cappuccino in the morning, I rarely find the time to truly reflect on the things I’m grateful for. In my experience, it’s easy to feel like you always need more and to compare yourself with others. Despite all the wonderful things that happen each day, feelings of wanting more can override my ability to think about all the positive things in my life – from the amazing family and relationships I have, to having the freedom to pursue my goals, or simply the beauty and wonder of being in nature.

Practising gratitude is a great way to put things into perspective, but in addition, having a grateful outlook on the world could greatly increase your wellbeing, through a multitude of factors!

In addition to leading to increases in positive emotions, Emmons & McCullough (2003) state that “gratitude is effective in increasing well-being as it builds psychological, social, and spiritual resources.”

Being grateful can lead you to reciprocate acts of kindness towards others (performing acts of kindness also boost happiness!).
Gratitude can strengthen the social bonds you have – for example, by reflecting on the positive actions of a friend or family member, this may help you to feel more cared for and help you to be mindful of the supportive relationships in your life.
Gratitude has strong links with spirituality and may help strengthen spirituality
As a positive emotion, according to Broaden and Build Theory, the practice of gratitude can lead to increased creativity and flexibility.

Gratitude has also been recently linked to increases in self control!.

How could you integrate the practice of gratitude into your day? Would you keep a gratitude diary or log each day? How could you integrate discussions around gratitude into dinner table discussions, or in the workplace? Do you express gratitude to the people you care about this? What are some creative ways you could do this?

I would love to hear some suggestions!

Gratitude could improve your self control

Is self control an area you need to improve? I know that I’ve often regretted a late night online shopping session (the sale was just so good, they were practically giving it away!!), or felt remorse over too many chocolate croissants purchased on the run! I’m not known for my budgeting skills, and often have been known to make an impulse purchase… but what if there was another strategy that could help improve my self control (without feeling like hard work!!). Gratitude could be a possible answer!!

The benefits of expressing gratitude are now well documented. Studies have shown that by practising gratitude, you can experiences increases in happiness and wellbeing!

But….gratitude can do more than just lead to increases in happiness…it could help you to become more patient and less impulsive!! A new study by Dickens and DeSteno (2016) showed that people who expressed gratitude, were more patient and less impulsive. The more grateful participants in the study were able to be patient, and bypass a short term reward ($30 now), for a better reward in the future ($50 later).

“Wow….sounds great…. but how do I become more grateful?”you ask. Some simple techniques you can try include:

Three things – each night, think of three things you are grateful for that happened during the day. This could be a great activity to do around the dinner table with friends or family.
A gratitude diary – keep a log of all the wonderful things you are grateful for – it could be a small thing, like the amazing coffee you had in the morning, or something bigger, like gratitude towards a friend.
Write a gratitude letter to someone who has impacted your life – it might be a teacher, or mentor, or someone who helped you through a tough situation – you don’t have to send it, but if you did, you might find this equally rewarding (for anyone who read my post about acts of kindness, these are also linked to increase happiness and wellbeing!!).

Top – Ministry of Style

Would you try these? Not only could you experience increased wellbeing, but you may also find your self control and patience improve too!! Woohoo!! 🙂

On being your own worst critic

Do you ever feel like you can be your own worst critic? When someone we love has a setback or a failure we often have all the empathy and care in the world, but when it comes to our own mistakes, it can be surprisingly easy to be hard on ourselves.

Why is this? Why is it ok for others to make mistakes, but not ourselves? If you feel that you’re your own toughest judge, it may be because of your cognitive schemas (“your what!?”). Schemas are like a roadmap that help us understand and make sense of the world, and include our underlying beliefs and assumptions. Those schemas, or road maps, can shape which road we take (our behaviours) and effect how we think about the road we’re on (our thoughts). We may have schemas related to perfectionism, and unrelenting standards, which can then lead to feelings of pressure, and thoughts around nothing being good enough. These thoughts and feelings can then affect our behaviour, (for example, working longer hours or avoiding relaxing).

So how can you become your own personal cheerleader and help your inner critic to pipe down!? Here are a few simple strategies:

1) Focus on goal mastery, not goal outcomes. If you’re afraid of failing, why not try and shift your focus to thinking about goals based on what you can learn, or a skill you can build rather than having a focus on the black or white achievement of your goal. The learning process can become something you can measure and achieve, and will allow you to build your confidence in the small wins. For example, I might have a goal of improving my leadership skills, rather than obtaining a promotion. This takes the pressure of “winning or losing” and shifts my perspective to what I can learn, rather than what I can get as an outcome.

2) Reflect on things you’re grateful for – there is a wealth of evidence that shows that practice of gratitude can lead to increased wellbeing. Create a gratitude diary, and write down three things you’re grateful for at the end of each day. This is a great tool to help shift your perspective to the positives in your life.

3) Ask yourself the question: “If my best friend X, was in my situation, what would I tell them?” We often apply one set of standards to ourselves, and one to the others in our lives. Try thinking about the advice or support you would give someone you care about who was in a similar situation to you – what would you tell them? How would you care for them? Can you then apply that same level of care and support to yourself?

4) Reflect on your strengths. What are your best qualities and attributes? When your inner critic pipes up, instead of buying into your own negative thoughts, why don’t you think about how you could apply your strengths to the situation – or if something didn’t go the way you wanted it to, can you think about a time you utilised your strengths really well?

Dress – Minkpink

Would you try some of these tips? What strategies work for you feel like your inner critic is holding you back?