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Positive Thinking: Can Self Talk and Positive Affirmations Increase your Performance?

Our minds are constantly chattering away with an internal dialogue, or “self talk.” Our self talk can be helpful, and can help to increase our confidence, mood or performance, or at times, self talk can be negative, which can lead to decreased confidence, performance difficulties and low mood.

Do you use positive thinking to help you get through tough situations, like public speaking, performances or even social situations? Does it work for you? Using positive affirmations or “positive self talk” is often praised as a key strategy to increase performance, and even to change our moods…but is self talk actually effective? Could simply replacing a negative thought with a positive one actually change how we feel and help us to perform better?

Some people like to use positive affirmations to increase their confidence (eg, “I’m great at X, I’m amazing!!” etc), but it’s important to use such affirmations with caution. If you don’t actually believe the content of a positive affirmation to be true, then it could backfire. A study by Wood, Perunovic & Lee (2003) evaluated the effectiveness of positive self statements. The results concluded that for people with low self esteem, positive self statements can be ineffective and can cause the person’s feelings about themselves and their mood to feel worse!! For people with high self esteem, positive self statements were shown to lead to a small increase in positive feelings and mood. The authors of the study outline that “Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, but backfire for the very people who ‘‘need’’ them the most.”

Self talk is a popular technique in the field of sports psychology, but there is surprisingly little evidence to support its benefit… however, Moran (2004) outlines that self talk may be useful in performances, as it can direct our attention to focus on key cues and demands related to a performance.

So with all this confusion, how can you best use self talk to support your performance in any given situation? Try the following tips:

Keep self talk positively phrased, emphasising what you should do, instead of what you should avoid. For example, “I can choose healthy food options”, rather than “don’t eat junk food!”, or “relax my shoulders and breath deeply” rather than “don’t make any mistakes!.”
Don’t use positive affirmations you don’t believe to be true – instead, find a statement that focuses your attention on something you can control or focus on.
Keep positive statements focused on things within your control, for example “Take a deep breath to relax,” “soft grip,” “focus on your posture,” “if I make a mistake, take a breath and start again” etc.
Keep it short and simple, and as vivid as possible, to focus your attention on cues relevant to the task. Try a trigger word related to performance cues like “relax”, “energise!” “soft tone” etc.
Use past successes to boost your confidence – rather than a general positive affirmation “I rock at public speaking!,” you could focus your self talk on a past successful performance “I felt confident when I gave a speech at last month’s team meeting and received great feedback!”

Do you ever use self talk to help you to focus at work, during sports, or when giving performances? Would you try this?

Gratitude: Increase your wellbeing by practicing gratitude

Do you practice gratitude? Do you take the time to stop and think about all the things you are thankful for each day? Whilst I continually express gratitude to my skim cappuccino in the morning, I rarely find the time to truly reflect on the things I’m grateful for. In my experience, it’s easy to feel like you always need more and to compare yourself with others. Despite all the wonderful things that happen each day, feelings of wanting more can override my ability to think about all the positive things in my life – from the amazing family and relationships I have, to having the freedom to pursue my goals, or simply the beauty and wonder of being in nature.

Practising gratitude is a great way to put things into perspective, but in addition, having a grateful outlook on the world could greatly increase your wellbeing, through a multitude of factors!

In addition to leading to increases in positive emotions, Emmons & McCullough (2003) state that “gratitude is effective in increasing well-being as it builds psychological, social, and spiritual resources.”

Being grateful can lead you to reciprocate acts of kindness towards others (performing acts of kindness also boost happiness!).
Gratitude can strengthen the social bonds you have – for example, by reflecting on the positive actions of a friend or family member, this may help you to feel more cared for and help you to be mindful of the supportive relationships in your life.
Gratitude has strong links with spirituality and may help strengthen spirituality
As a positive emotion, according to Broaden and Build Theory, the practice of gratitude can lead to increased creativity and flexibility.

Gratitude has also been recently linked to increases in self control!.

How could you integrate the practice of gratitude into your day? Would you keep a gratitude diary or log each day? How could you integrate discussions around gratitude into dinner table discussions, or in the workplace? Do you express gratitude to the people you care about this? What are some creative ways you could do this?

I would love to hear some suggestions!

Gratitude could improve your self control

Is self control an area you need to improve? I know that I’ve often regretted a late night online shopping session (the sale was just so good, they were practically giving it away!!), or felt remorse over too many chocolate croissants purchased on the run! I’m not known for my budgeting skills, and often have been known to make an impulse purchase… but what if there was another strategy that could help improve my self control (without feeling like hard work!!). Gratitude could be a possible answer!!

The benefits of expressing gratitude are now well documented. Studies have shown that by practising gratitude, you can experiences increases in happiness and wellbeing!

But….gratitude can do more than just lead to increases in happiness…it could help you to become more patient and less impulsive!! A new study by Dickens and DeSteno (2016) showed that people who expressed gratitude, were more patient and less impulsive. The more grateful participants in the study were able to be patient, and bypass a short term reward ($30 now), for a better reward in the future ($50 later).

“Wow….sounds great…. but how do I become more grateful?”you ask. Some simple techniques you can try include:

Three things – each night, think of three things you are grateful for that happened during the day. This could be a great activity to do around the dinner table with friends or family.
A gratitude diary – keep a log of all the wonderful things you are grateful for – it could be a small thing, like the amazing coffee you had in the morning, or something bigger, like gratitude towards a friend.
Write a gratitude letter to someone who has impacted your life – it might be a teacher, or mentor, or someone who helped you through a tough situation – you don’t have to send it, but if you did, you might find this equally rewarding (for anyone who read my post about acts of kindness, these are also linked to increase happiness and wellbeing!!).

Top – Ministry of Style

Would you try these? Not only could you experience increased wellbeing, but you may also find your self control and patience improve too!! Woohoo!! 🙂

Mindfulness: Mindful Colouring – Science or Snake Oil?

Do you practice mindfulness? Are you on the adult colouring bandwagon? Mindfulness colouring books and magazines are everywhere…. but is there evidence to support the benefits of “mindful colouring”? Personally, I like the idea of kicking back with a cup of tea and a colouring book, but the question I ask is.. is “mindful” colouring any different from regular colouring? Could I potentially colour in the Sydney Morning Herald and gain the same benefit? Could I pick up a $2 children’s colouring book instead of one of the $20 “mindful” colouring books?

My second question is….does “mindful” colouring help you to achieve a state of mindfulness? Or does it perhaps just help you to relax and unwind, because you’re taking some time out to do something creative and engaging in an activity that’s nostalgic. Or….could it help you to achieve a different psychological state, such as flow? When you’re experiencing flow, you’re so involved in a task, it feels like time stops, and you may also be experiencing feelings of joy….this is different to mindfulness, where you’re simply noticing things, rather than judging or appraising an activity as fun, joyful, good, bad etc.

There isn’t a lot of empirical evidence supporting mindful colouring that I could find. A study by Carsley, Heath & Fajnerova (2015) looked at the effects of “mindful colouring” (using mandalas, similar to the patterns pictured below), vs regular unstructured colouring, on reducing test anxiety for children. Results showed that both the unstructured colouring, and the mandala colouring (the “mindful” colouring) reduced anxiety….but for boys, the unstructured colouring had greater effects in anxiety reduction! So based on this study….colouring in (regardless of what you colour), may help with anxiety reduction….but….keep in mind that this particular study was done on children.

All in all, I think that engaging in an activity that you find enjoyable or relaxing is a positive thing, and if adult colouring works for you, then go for it!! Adult colouring can definitely be a great way to practice mindfulness with a few simple instructions.

These books sure look delightful….but at $20 a pop, are they worth it?

Next time you pick up your colouring book (the $20 mindfulness colouring book, or the $2 Winnie the Pooh colouring book), try having a read through the below instructions, and try and apply them to your colouring session, to make your colouring time a mindfulness activity.

Bring your awareness to the page in front of you – start to notice the images and patterns on the page.
Pick up your first pencil or crayon. Notice the feeling of the pencil/crayon in your hand – is it rough, or smooth? Notice the feeling of the paper beneath your other hand.
Start your colouring – keep your awareness on the feeling of the pencil in your hand, Notice the feel of the pencil as you begin to colour – notice how it feels when you lightly colour the images in front of you. If thoughts come into your mind, gently unhook from them, bringing your awareness back to the task at hand.
Start to notice the colour appearing on the page. Notice the subtle differences in colour when you apply different amounts of pressure to the pencil.
You may find your mind wandering – you may be thinking about the other things you have to do today. If you notice your mind has wandering, gently bring your awareness back to the colouring task. How is your page looking? Can you notice the different colours, or the subtle changes in direction of your pencil strokes?
Notice the sounds the pencil makes as it touches the paper.
Choose an area to focus your awareness on – it may be focusing on the images on the page and noticing the colours appearing as you work. It may be focusing on the feel of the pencil as you colour, or the sound of the pencil and paper. Try and keep your awareness on one of these areas.
Time and time again, your mind will wander. This is perfectly normal. Each time you notice your mind wandering, simple notice you’ve been distracted, and come back to the colouring.
Use the task as an anchor, helping you to keep from drifting off with your thoughts….noticing each time you’re distracted and coming back to the task at hand.

Would you give this a whirl as a strategy to practice mindfulness? Or do you prefer to be mindful in other ways? My overall stance is, if you enjoy it, go for it, but use it in conjunction with other wellbeing strategies!! You might find that going for a walk is more relaxing and present focused than adult colouring!

If anyone has any empirical studies about the efficacy of “mindful colouring” that I haven’t mentioned, please share them with me!

Can mindfulness help enhance your performance?

Do you experience difficulty in high pressure situations, like giving a presentation, performing in public, or competing in sports? Mindfulness could be a key strategy in helping you to remain focused and give your best performance.

There are many factors that occur psychologically before any performance, which may negatively impact our performance; these include our self talk or inner dialogue (“I know I’ll stuff up this presentation, they probably know I don’t know what Im taking about!”), our expectations about success or failure (“I’ll probably be so embarrassed I’ll have to find a new job!” *facepalm*), a focus on our own physical sensations (such as noticing yourself feeling shaky or jittery – “why oh why did I drink three coffees and skip lunch!?”), self doubts, and even efforts to try and “block out” negative thoughts.

However, it may be that the more time we focus on trying to control these uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and behaviours, that performance can actually be impaired… this could be because that by focusing on controlling our mental processes, it distracts us from the task at hand, and brings our attention from the present moment and external environment, back into our inner selves. “Experiential avoidance” is a term that means using strategies to try and control or block out unpleasant thoughts, feelings or sensations. For example, someone who is feeling excessively anxious before giving a work presentation, may call in sick to work that day, thus preventing the discomfort of the feelings of anxiety (at least in the short term). Other experiential avoidance techniques might include attempts to try and control our thoughts through distraction or trying to suppress our thoughts….but by being kept busy trying to control our negative thoughts, this doesn’t leave much time to focus on the actual performance task at hand, and the environmental demands!!

Gardner & Moore (2007) outline an “Acceptance-based approach” to performance, which outlines that when performers are able to accept that their negative thoughts, feelings or internal experiences are normal, and refocus their attention to the performance task at hand, this will enhance performance by keeping them focuses on the key aspects of the environment needed for excellent performance. In contrast, performers who engage in experiential avoidance are likely to have impaired performance outcomes.

“Performance outcomes depend on the degree to which the performer accepts his or her own experiences as normal or naturally occurring; is willing to persist on the task despite these experiences and maintains his attentional focus on the environment at hand rather than his or her internal thoughts, feelings an physical sensations.” (Gardner & Moore, 2007, pp. 166)

So how can you just “accept” your negative thoughts, crushing feelings of anxiety etc, and focus on a performance, when you feel terrified!? A key strategy to help you to learn to “unhook” from negative thoughts, and to learn to focus on the present is mindfulness.

Mindfulness can be defined as “Paying attention on purpose, without judgment to our experience as it unfolds moment by moment” (Kabat-Zin, 1990). Whilst this all might sound great, mindfulness takes practice!! Fear not though, there are some easy ways you can integrate mindfulness into your daily routine…through regular practice of mindfulness you begin to unhook from thoughts, and focus more on the present.

Click here for my introduction to mindfulness post with two simple exercises you can try. I’ve also just downloaded the Smiling Mind app for some simple mindfulness exercises I can download on my phone and do every day.

Are you a performer, athlete or someone who gives regular presentations? Have you tried using mindfulness as part of your pre-performance routine? How could you integrate mindfulness into your practice and preparation before a big event?

On (not yet) Acheiving Balance

Every year I get older I seem to realise that life throws more and more responsibilities at me, and frankly, I find it quite overwhelming at times!!

I’m lucky enough to have a fantastic job, where I can help people and work as part of a great team…but nonetheless, balancing a career, with studying a masters degree, raising a one year old son, maintaining relationships, blogging, attempting to look after my health, fitness and wellbeing and having some semblance of social life all comes at a price. That price means that I often feel that I have so many competing demands that I just don’t know where to start!! This can be exhausting, because instead of just enjoying what I’m doing, my mind is constantly ticking away about all the numerous other things I have to do.

No matter who you are and what you do, you’re probably balancing multiple roles and multiple demands. Here are a few strategies you can try to help you to feel more balanced.

Acceptance. Sometimes simply accepting that we can’t do it all is a good start. Even though I know that no one has a perfect life, everywhere in the media we are bombarded with images of people who have all their shit together – perfect house, great social life, great job etc etc… but no one can do everything at once, and sometimes certain priorities have to take preference over others. Sometimes when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I try and think about my core values…what’s most important to me? Having a day to just hang out with my husband and son means so much to me and makes me feel happy…. yes, there is plenty of house work I could be doing, and I’m sure I could spend more time studying, but is that something I’ll look back on and be thankful for?
Learn to engage in the present. It’s really hard to focus on the task at hand when you’re sending an email, whilst watching some TV and keeping an eye on dinner on the stove (oh, and having a half-assed conversation with a loved one while you’re at it!). Try and practice mindfully savouring the task at hand, rather than cruising through it on autopilot.. for more information on Mindfulness, click here! Set yourself small goals, like enjoying dinner without looking at your phone or laptop.
Notice when you experience flow….and do more of that!! Flow happens when we become so engaged in what we’re doing, that we lose a sense of time, and become so caught up that we don’t even think about all the things we should be doing. Flow leads to greater wellbeing and reduced stress… they key is allowing yourself the time to do those activities that help you experience flow… For me, I experience flow when playing the guitar, yoga or cycling, or even writing or reading a good book…. the biggest battle for me is making the time for those activities!
Outsource! In your quest for the perfectly balanced life, could it be that by wanting everything to be perfect, you might in fact be holding on to some unnecessary activities that you could actually hold less lightly, or even outsource? For example, is there a work task you could delegate so you can leave on time today? Could you get a cleaner once a fortnight, or some help with a task that’s painstaking for you, like yardwork, doing your taxes, or a myriad of other painful life admin tasks?
Set boundaries and say NO more. At the end of the day, there are only 24 hours in that day!! Is right now the best time to commit to that volunteer project you’ve been thinking about, or to fill your weekend schedule when you know you may have trouble meeting all those commitments? Be easy on yourself, and allow yourself time to meet your existing commitments before taking on too many more.
Look after yourself!! When life gets crazy, self care is more important than ever….taking time out for exercise works wonders for our mental and physical health…you might feel too overwhelmed for a break, but after a 1 hour gym class or even a 20 minute walk, you’re sure to feel more energised and ready to take on even more challenges… remember, that positive emotions broaden our thought-action repertoire, and may help you to solve problems more effectively and be more creative!! Schedule time for your wellbeing. Just like you schedule work activities and appointments, it’s important to schedule time out for important things like exercise, social and family activities and even some downtime!

Most importantly, just remember that at the end of the day, no one can do it all. Be good to yourself and accept that there is only so much you can take on, and that sometimes things will come up that are completely out of your control.

What strategies do you utilise to stay balanced? Would you try these?

Dress - Anine Bing

Sunglasses - Quay Eyewear

Another reason to drink more coffee

If you’re a coffee lover like me, you probably don’t need more excuses to drink coffee, but now and again I like to reflect on all the positive reasons I should continue my three cup a day habit….especially when I’m about to pay $3.50 for another cappuccino on a tough day!!

In a study by Borota, Murray, Keceli, Chang, Watabe, Ly, Toscano and Yassa (2014), the effects of Caffeine on long term memory were examined.

Participants were given a series of pictures to view and learn. After the task, they were then either given a caffeine tablet (containing 200mg of caffeine) or a placebo tablet.
The next day, the participants were administered the task again, with some images being the same and some different.
The “Caffeinated” participants were better able identify the similar images than the non-caffeinated group.

The researchers concluded that the group given the caffeine following the tasks were aided in the “consolidation” of long term memories rather than short term recall.

What are the implications of this? Learning something new? More reason to have a cup of coffee after each chapter read/study session/discussion/task practised etc, to help you to better consolidate those memories for long term learning!!

Try THIS simple tip to reduce your daily stress levels

How do you unwind after a stressful day? Do you exercise, have a glass of wine, or a chat with a friend? After a rough day, did you ever consider that helping others through prosocial behaviour could help reduce your own stress?

A recent study by Raposa, Laws and Ansell (2015) showed that prosocial behaviour can reduce the effects of day to day stress on our emotional functioning. The study showed that those who engaged in more prosocial behaviours on a stressful day, could mitigate the effects of the day’s stress.

The prosocial behaviours included small gestures such as opening a door for others, or asking if others need help .

So it’s win win!! Do something kind for others, and you can also help yourself to cope better with stress!! Would you try this? What else could you do? Flowers for a friend? Make a cup of tea for your partner?

For more information on kindness and wellbeing, check out this post from last year.

On being your own worst critic

Do you ever feel like you can be your own worst critic? When someone we love has a setback or a failure we often have all the empathy and care in the world, but when it comes to our own mistakes, it can be surprisingly easy to be hard on ourselves.

Why is this? Why is it ok for others to make mistakes, but not ourselves? If you feel that you’re your own toughest judge, it may be because of your cognitive schemas (“your what!?”). Schemas are like a roadmap that help us understand and make sense of the world, and include our underlying beliefs and assumptions. Those schemas, or road maps, can shape which road we take (our behaviours) and effect how we think about the road we’re on (our thoughts). We may have schemas related to perfectionism, and unrelenting standards, which can then lead to feelings of pressure, and thoughts around nothing being good enough. These thoughts and feelings can then affect our behaviour, (for example, working longer hours or avoiding relaxing).

So how can you become your own personal cheerleader and help your inner critic to pipe down!? Here are a few simple strategies:

1) Focus on goal mastery, not goal outcomes. If you’re afraid of failing, why not try and shift your focus to thinking about goals based on what you can learn, or a skill you can build rather than having a focus on the black or white achievement of your goal. The learning process can become something you can measure and achieve, and will allow you to build your confidence in the small wins. For example, I might have a goal of improving my leadership skills, rather than obtaining a promotion. This takes the pressure of “winning or losing” and shifts my perspective to what I can learn, rather than what I can get as an outcome.

2) Reflect on things you’re grateful for – there is a wealth of evidence that shows that practice of gratitude can lead to increased wellbeing. Create a gratitude diary, and write down three things you’re grateful for at the end of each day. This is a great tool to help shift your perspective to the positives in your life.

3) Ask yourself the question: “If my best friend X, was in my situation, what would I tell them?” We often apply one set of standards to ourselves, and one to the others in our lives. Try thinking about the advice or support you would give someone you care about who was in a similar situation to you – what would you tell them? How would you care for them? Can you then apply that same level of care and support to yourself?

4) Reflect on your strengths. What are your best qualities and attributes? When your inner critic pipes up, instead of buying into your own negative thoughts, why don’t you think about how you could apply your strengths to the situation – or if something didn’t go the way you wanted it to, can you think about a time you utilised your strengths really well?

Dress – Minkpink

Would you try some of these tips? What strategies work for you feel like your inner critic is holding you back?

Try this simple tip to become a better listener

Often in conversations, whether it be at work or at home, we’re often so busy trying to get our own perspectives across, that we don’t really listen to the other person.

Instead of really engaging in dialogue where ideas are exchanged, it’s easy to hold onto our own point of view so tightly that we instead talk at the other person, instead of to them.

When we go into a discussion assuming our perspective is the right one, this can close us off from other possibilities, and prevent us from broadening our perspective through real conversation.

Even the best of listeners can be terrible listeners at times!!

Do you want to become a better listener? Try this simple tip…

In their new book, ‘Simple Habits for Complex Times” by Jennifer Garvey Berger and Keith Johnston, the authors suggest that as you enter a conversation, to ask yourself the following question: “What can I learn from this person?”

Why not try it the next time you receive feedback from your boss at work, or the next time you’re in an argument with your partner or friend. By asking yourself this question, you will be forced to really listen to the other person’s perspective, and to better understand their point of view and what it is they’re actually trying to tell you. Once you learn to hold your own perspective a little less tightly and really listen, you may even learn something!!

Would you try this? Do you have any tips for being a better listener?