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Another reason to drink more coffee

If you’re a coffee lover like me, you probably don’t need more excuses to drink coffee, but now and again I like to reflect on all the positive reasons I should continue my three cup a day habit….especially when I’m about to pay $3.50 for another cappuccino on a tough day!!

In a study by Borota, Murray, Keceli, Chang, Watabe, Ly, Toscano and Yassa (2014), the effects of Caffeine on long term memory were examined.

Participants were given a series of pictures to view and learn. After the task, they were then either given a caffeine tablet (containing 200mg of caffeine) or a placebo tablet.
The next day, the participants were administered the task again, with some images being the same and some different.
The “Caffeinated” participants were better able identify the similar images than the non-caffeinated group.

The researchers concluded that the group given the caffeine following the tasks were aided in the “consolidation” of long term memories rather than short term recall.

What are the implications of this? Learning something new? More reason to have a cup of coffee after each chapter read/study session/discussion/task practised etc, to help you to better consolidate those memories for long term learning!!

Try THIS simple tip to reduce your daily stress levels

How do you unwind after a stressful day? Do you exercise, have a glass of wine, or a chat with a friend? After a rough day, did you ever consider that helping others through prosocial behaviour could help reduce your own stress?

A recent study by Raposa, Laws and Ansell (2015) showed that prosocial behaviour can reduce the effects of day to day stress on our emotional functioning. The study showed that those who engaged in more prosocial behaviours on a stressful day, could mitigate the effects of the day’s stress.

The prosocial behaviours included small gestures such as opening a door for others, or asking if others need help .

So it’s win win!! Do something kind for others, and you can also help yourself to cope better with stress!! Would you try this? What else could you do? Flowers for a friend? Make a cup of tea for your partner?

For more information on kindness and wellbeing, check out this post from last year.

On being your own worst critic

Do you ever feel like you can be your own worst critic? When someone we love has a setback or a failure we often have all the empathy and care in the world, but when it comes to our own mistakes, it can be surprisingly easy to be hard on ourselves.

Why is this? Why is it ok for others to make mistakes, but not ourselves? If you feel that you’re your own toughest judge, it may be because of your cognitive schemas (“your what!?”). Schemas are like a roadmap that help us understand and make sense of the world, and include our underlying beliefs and assumptions. Those schemas, or road maps, can shape which road we take (our behaviours) and effect how we think about the road we’re on (our thoughts). We may have schemas related to perfectionism, and unrelenting standards, which can then lead to feelings of pressure, and thoughts around nothing being good enough. These thoughts and feelings can then affect our behaviour, (for example, working longer hours or avoiding relaxing).

So how can you become your own personal cheerleader and help your inner critic to pipe down!? Here are a few simple strategies:

1) Focus on goal mastery, not goal outcomes. If you’re afraid of failing, why not try and shift your focus to thinking about goals based on what you can learn, or a skill you can build rather than having a focus on the black or white achievement of your goal. The learning process can become something you can measure and achieve, and will allow you to build your confidence in the small wins. For example, I might have a goal of improving my leadership skills, rather than obtaining a promotion. This takes the pressure of “winning or losing” and shifts my perspective to what I can learn, rather than what I can get as an outcome.

2) Reflect on things you’re grateful for – there is a wealth of evidence that shows that practice of gratitude can lead to increased wellbeing. Create a gratitude diary, and write down three things you’re grateful for at the end of each day. This is a great tool to help shift your perspective to the positives in your life.

3) Ask yourself the question: “If my best friend X, was in my situation, what would I tell them?” We often apply one set of standards to ourselves, and one to the others in our lives. Try thinking about the advice or support you would give someone you care about who was in a similar situation to you – what would you tell them? How would you care for them? Can you then apply that same level of care and support to yourself?

4) Reflect on your strengths. What are your best qualities and attributes? When your inner critic pipes up, instead of buying into your own negative thoughts, why don’t you think about how you could apply your strengths to the situation – or if something didn’t go the way you wanted it to, can you think about a time you utilised your strengths really well?

Dress – Minkpink

Would you try some of these tips? What strategies work for you feel like your inner critic is holding you back?

A few small things i’ve learned in 2015

Did you spend time making new years resolutions? This year I decided that before setting more goals that I’d take some time to reflect on 2015. It’s been a massive year…Dash is now 15 months old, I’ve taken on a new job, got through more of my Masters degree, done some more travel and spent time expanding Pop Therapy…but what is it that I’ve learned from these things? Here are a few of my rants below!!

1) I can never be in control of everything….but that’s ok. The house will never stay perfectly clean, I will never have everything on my “to do” list done, no matter how many times I go to Coles, I’m probably still out of milk, and/or paper towels, I wanted to go to the gym but I caught a cold, then Dash caught a cold, then Dash cried, then I cried, and the list goes on…but that’s ok. I spend a good deal of my life agonising over the small things, when really, life is pretty good.

2) Mindfulness is a powerful tool to unhook from worries and anxiety provoking thoughts…it’s easy to learn, practice and integrate into your daily life….finding an activity that helps you to experience flow is a great way to become more connected with the present and engage in mindful awareness.

3) Being a parent is !@#$ing hard, but seeing Dash’s happy little face and hearing his sweet little voice is enough to melt my heart (even if he did just mash bolognese sauce into my hair and whizz all over the floor!!). Nonetheless, it takes time to adjust to motherhood, and anyone who tells you it’s a breeze, would be lying!!

4) Connections with others matter more than everything else. I’m lucky to have some amazing friends and a truly wonderful husband in my life….without people we care about to share our experiences with, nothing is as special.

5) If you’re attempting DIY fake tan application (in my case, if you’re looking to go from “translucent”, to “fair”)…use a tanning glove!! Who knew these things even existed!? They’re about $5, and would have saved me many a streak and uneven application….a tan glove!!? who knew!?

6) Having turned 30 this year, there’s no point in trying to be someone I’m not….be true to yourself, and life is a hell of a lot easier.

7) I bought this sparkling water machine for my husband Lachy, and who knew how wonderful sparkling water on tap could be!?

8) Upon becoming a parent, my hobbies and interests went from: guitar, yoga, travel…to: sleep, being able to eat an entire meal without interruption, grocery shopping without a baby etc. The point of this is that I’m realising how important it is to do the things you care about, even though life is busy. Doing things you’re passionate about is important for wellbeing, and for our sense of self.

9) I’m all for healthy eating, but these cookies are the bomb

What did you learn in 2015? Do any of these resonate with you? The cookies!?

Boost your learning power with this simple tip!!

Learning a new skill is difficult for the best of us, particularly as we age *sighs*…..but there is a simple strategy you can try which can help you to learn more efficiently.

Simply by mixing up the way you learn with interleaving, you can experience large gains in your learning.

Interleaving means practising or learning different skills in quick succession. Often when learning, we traditionally focus on learning one task at a time. For example, if I was learning to play a new song on the guitar, I might spend an entire practice session on the one song only…. but if I was interleaving, I might practice multiple techniques in a practice sessions – for example, scales, fingerpicking, or even work on a few different songs in the same session.

A study by Rohrer et al., 2015, showed that children learning maths who used interleaving, performed 25% better than students learning one technique at a time (such as spending an entire lesson on fractions!), one day later. A month later the children were re-tested, and the interleavers performed 76% better than students practising one task at a time.

The implications of this are that whether you are learning a new skill, such as learning to play golf, or going back to university for further education, by shaking up how you practice and learn, you can learn much better.

You might feel stuck when learning a particular task or skill, but by moving on to a different task in the same session, it may actually help you to learn the first one!!

Do you interleave? What works best for you when learning a new skill?

Be Mindful

I’m a notorious multi-tasker. At the moment, I’ve got a load of washing on the go, am entertaining an eight month old baby, sterilising some bottles, writing a blog post, studying for a uni exam and have some trashy TV on in the background. Did I mention I also just ate some dark chocolate at so fast a pace I can barely remember eating it? Oh, and where did the glass of wine I just poured go? That’s right…I drank it at rocket speed (woooo)!! If you’re anything like me, you might on occasion (or on a regular basis…) find yourself on auto-pilot, racing through life so busy thinking about all the things you have to do that you lose sight of the present moment, and often miss out on fully engaging in the task at hand.

Pot and pot stand - Kmart

Do you ever find yourself so caught up in your thoughts that you miss out on all sorts of exciting things? Like realising that you’re halfway through a conversation with a friend, but you haven’t actually listened because you’re thinking about what a mess your house is, or you’re playing with the kids, but realise that instead of really engaging, you’re thinking about work stuff, financial stress etc…

This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness can be defined as “Paying attention on purpose, without judgment to our experience as it unfolds moment by moment” (Kabat-Zin, 1990).

Through regular practise of mindfulness, we can learn to remain in the present, allowing us to fully engage in the activity we are doing. Mindfulness allows us to “unhook” from our thoughts so that we can focus on what’s going on around us. A second key component of mindfulness is openness and non-judgement – this means that whilst even the most mindful of people will experience stressful thoughts, they are able to appraise them through a lens of curiosity, seeing those difficult thoughts as simply thoughts, which are neither good or bad, without the judgement and loading we usually attach to our thinking (the way we appraise our thinking subsequently affects the emotions we feel!!).

Mindfulness isn’t designed as a relaxation technique, but many people find that they feel more relaxed once they begin practising mindfulness.

“Great, where do I sign up?” you say! Just remember, like any new skill, learning mindfulness takes practice, practice, practice!! If you can allocate five to ten minutes a day to practice, you will be well on the way to improving your skills in mindfulness.

“but I barely have five minutes to shower, let alone sit and meditate!!” you say. Fear not – there are simple ways you can factor mindfulness practice into activities that you are already doing on a daily basis!! Here are some suggestions, but you can probably come up with some of your own once you get started.

Choose a particularly devious food that you enjoy (like a piece of dark chocolate). Put the piece of chocolate in your mouth, and instead of eating it faster than you can say “pass me some more,” try savouring the experience of eating the chocolate. Bring your full awareness to the chocolate. Notice the depth of flavour. Notice the smell of the chocolate. Notice the texture of the chocolate change as it melts in your mouth. Each time you find your mind wandering, gently unhook from the distracting thoughts, by bringing your awareness back to the sensory experience of eating the chocolate. If you get distracted from the delicious task at hand, remember that this is completely normal, and continue to draw your awareness back to the delicious, delicious chocolate. Repeat, as often as required 😉
Choose a tedious housework task that you don’t love, but have to do most days (this might be washing the dishes or hanging out the washing). We will use the example of washing the dishes – as you are washing the dishes, focus your awareness on the sound of the running water as you fill the sink. Notice the sound of the bubbles as you pour in the detergent. Notice the warmth of the water as you immerse your hands in to begin scrubbing the dishes. Listen for sounds – the clink of plates, the scrape of a fork on the bottom of the sink. Notice the feeling of the dishes, the slipperiness of the detergent, the feel of the bubbles. What can you feel? What can you see? Can you smell the scent of the detergent? As you do this task, your mind will wander (time and time again). Each time you notice that your mind has wandered, simply notice this has happened, and without judgement of the thoughts that have swept you away, bring your awareness back to the experience of the task of doing the dishes. Think of the task as an anchor, which you can use to bring your awareness back to the present, each time your mind wanders. If you find yourself caught up in your thoughts, try not to judge or appraise your thinking – if you need to label your thoughts, simply label them as “thinking,” then bring your awareness back to the feel, the sound, the smells etc of the task at hand.

So here are two techniques for “mindfulness on the fly.” They don’t take a lot of time, and can be factored in to your every day experiences. Just remember, the more you practice mindfulness, the better you will get!!

Would you try these techniques? I’d love to hear how you go.

Get your flow on

Do you ever become so absorbed in an activity that you lose sense of time and space and get lost in what you’re doing? Chances are you’re experiencing flow!

Flow happens when we are fully engaged in an activity. We feel in control – it’s like time stops, and you get swept up in the activity you’re doing – no more thinking about the housework, or what to eat for dinner – you’re well and truly engaged in the task at hand!! It might happen when we’re performing a hobby like reading or yoga, or it might happen when you’re working on a task that is challenging, like an important work task or university assignment.

There are many psychological benefits to experiencing flow!! These include increased well-being, greater work/life satisfaction, reduced stress and anxiety, greater sense of self, increased productivity and increased self esteem. Short term, we’re likely to experience feelings of pleasure, happiness and satisfaction.

So what are the key elements that make flow happen!?

Participating in an activity that challenging and uses your skills to the fullest! If the task is too easy, or too difficult, then flow is unlikely to occur. With this in mind, thinking about your strengths and what you are good at, might help you to choose activities that lead you to experience flow.
Having clear goals – is your goal to practise a 30 minute set list to be able to play those songs with confidence at tonight’s gig? Is it to conduct research on positive psychology to write a university paper? To spend one hour at the gym to relax? Whatever it is, make it clear and measurable and think about what the purpose of your activity is. Think about what you need to achieve your goal including resources, and when and where you will carry out your flow enhancing activity.
Having clear and immediate feedback – can you assess your performance as you complete the task? If not, can you engage in reflection following the activity to think about what you did well or could improve on? Can a coach,supervisor or mentor give you feedback from observation?

With this in mind, which activities do you get lost in? It might be playing sport, playing a musical instrument, reading a book (or even, I hate to say….a work task!!). Can you find a way to engage in this activity every day? Whilst you might feel like you don’t have time to do things you enjoy, the positive effects of experiencing flow are likely to make you feel happier and more productive when doing the mundane stuff!!

Doing this post made me realise how much I miss picking up my guitar…it’s amazing how time disappears when you’re doing something you love!! How can you make more time for flow enhancing activities?

Lipstick: Mac - Pink Pigeon

An everyday habit that could be increasing your anxiety

There is so much evidence out there which shows that sedentary activities have a poor impact on our physical health….but what about our mental health? A new study by Taychenne et. al (2015) has found that there is a link between anxiety, and sitting down all day.

Activities such at watching TV, working at a computer or playing video games may have a link to anxiety. Results showed that the more sedentary the behaviour, the great anxiety experienced.

We don’t know why sedentary behaviours lead to anxiety, but possible reasons may include central nervous system arousal and disturbed sleep, social withdrawal from long term engagement in behaviours such as video games, or lack of physical exercise which can displace anxiety.

Whilst more evidence is needed in this area, there is a multitude of evidence out there that supports the relationship between physical activity and positive mental health.

Are you going through stress or worry? Whilst it might seem tempting to curl up on the couch and watch TV, or stay in bed with your laptop all day, this may make your anxiety worse! Physical activity is a great stress buster, and a simple walk every day is an excellent way to keep physically and mentally healthy!

Can you think of some different ways to de-stress and relax, whilst avoiding the temptation of the couch?

Positive Ageing

The thought of ageing is a scary concept for many of us. We’re constantly bombarded with messages about the beauty of youth, and the concept of old age is regarded by many as a time for dependency and losing the ability to enjoy the things one previously loved.

The way we age however, is heavily shaped by our perceptions around ageing.

Research in the field of positive psychology is extending to examine well-being during old age. Research by psychologist Carol Ryff describes the most important criteria for being well adjusted during old age as:

Being socially responsible and interested in others
Having the capacity to accept change
Being compassionate, caring and responsive to others

Harvard Professor of Psychiatry, Dr George Vaillant, in his book Positive Ageing, conducted research which followed 824 people for 60 years, from teen years to becoming grandparents! Based on this, Valliant outlines several predictors, which if adhered to before the age of 50, can lead to good physical and mental health at ages 70, 80 and beyond:

Positive relationships, including a good marriage
Alcohol used in moderation only
Creativity and playfulness
Learning to make younger friends and form new relationships as older friends are lost
Pursuing education and achievement
Ability to find creative ways to cope with difficult situations
Altruistic behaviour
Staying physically active
Being a non-smoker
Having a healthy weight

Some amazing research was done by Ellen Langer, Harvard Psychology Profession, in her “Counter Clockwise” study. Dr Langer had elderly men in their 70’s and 80’s attend a one week retreat where they were required to live like it was 1959!! The study involved the men reading only material from the time of 1959 or before, discussing the politics of the time and writing letters as their younger selves in 1959 to share with the other participants. At the end of the study, the men were evaluated as appearing taller, having better posture, having higher scores on intelligence tests and being perceived as younger by others viewing photographs of them. The researcher, Dr Langer, even reported that at the end of the week she was playing football with elderly men who had previously been walking with canes!! Some of the men who had been dependent on family members to help them with many activities of daily living were functioning independently during the retreat, including helping with meals and tidying up.

What amazing evidence to show that having a “young” mindset can have massive impacts of the physical body!!

Will you continue to maintain a “young” mind as you age? Do you have grandparents/parents/friends/relatives who have achieved amazing things in their old age? I would love to hear your stories!!

Acts of kindness can boost your happiness

Can doing something kind for others make you feel happier?

In a study by Lyubomirsky, Tkach & Sheldon (2004) students were asked to perform five acts of kindness each week, for a period of six weeks. The type of acts included things like visiting an elderly relative, donating blood, helping a friend with a paper, writing a thankyou note etc. Students completed measures of well-being before and after the six week period.

The results showed that the well-being of the students increased following the intervention….however, the researchers found that the timing of the acts of kindness was crucial…..only the students who did all of their acts of kindness in a single day each week showed increased well-being, not the students who spread their generosity over the entire week!!

So why is this!? A reason may be that because many of the kind acts performed by the students were small ones, spreading them out over a whole week may have decreased their power, or made them harder to distinguish from day-to-day habitual kind behaviours.

This fits in with another study by Baumester, Vohs, Aasker & Garbinsky (2013) which outlined that helping others is not correlated with happiness, but that people who help others have higher levels of meaning in their lives than people who don’t help others.

What does this mean? Helping others is related to higher levels of meaning in our lives and can help our well-being, but several small acts of kindness over one day are more likely to achieve this!!

Would you do a weekly “kindness” day? How might you do it? I would love to hear your ideas!!